Every choice in our life has consequeces,
Human are creatures that hate to make decisions,
We never really like the feeling to choose one thing and give up on another thing
This is why when we realise,
There is a choice that can help us to achieve something without giving up anything,
and has almost no or less consequences and effect in our lives
where we get to run away from reality and not making any decision at all,
and have less stress and worries in life,
we choose to take that decision and travel that path.

We always thought that by doing this,
we can feel better since we get to achieve everything without letting go of anything,
but when we just drag on with the choices in our lives,
all we does is to create more confusion,
more suffering,
ended up hurting everyone that is related to the choices,
and ended up hurting ourselves the most,
since we are the most confused,
the most suffered,
and the one who blames ourselves the most.

Most of the time,
we find lots of excuses in life,
Is not because we cannot let go,
is just we choose to and dun want to let go.
Is not because we love or not love,
is not we care or not care,
is just we are too afraid and too confused to make a decision,
so that we choose to drag on things in life,
just to run away from making a decision that may seems to be painful.

Overall, humans are creatures that like to find excuses,
sometime, we are so good at finding excuses,
that we not only cheat the people around us,
but we try our very best to cheat ourselves,
to cheat our heart,
and tell ourselves that, "I am doing the right thing"
and the next word may be, "I dun know"
all this shows so clearly that we are confused and are cheating ourselves but we dun want to accept,
since we are too confused to make decisions,
so we ended up cheating ourselves,
and keep telling ourselves that,
the choice we made is the right and correct one,
even though our hearts sometimes want something else,
and because our heart did not get what we really want,
we felt confused,
we felt suffering.
just because we want to cheat ourselves and stick to something that we want to believe is the correct choice and decision to avoid making another decision in our lives.

Just an endless cycle of pain and suffering caused by ourselves,
since we cannot even differentiate who and what is good for us,
cannot even tell what are the things we really want in life and future to bring us true happiness.
So, we waste time in draging on,
just to linger and sink deeper,
into a world full of suffering and pain,
where there are just darkness,
and never has light and happiness,
but pure pain and suffering.

痴心绝对 李圣杰

想用一杯Latte把你灌醉
好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味你不懂这种感觉
早有人陪的你永远不会
看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的 那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退 我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天 你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

看见你和他在我面前 证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的 那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天 你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
曾经我以为我自己会后悔
不想爱得太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪 为你作任何改变
也唤不回你对我的坚决
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退 我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天 你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
直到那一天 你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

I have nothing to say but to say that, is an endless pain to have something that used to gives u all the reasons and hopes to live with it in the past but never being given a chance to be able to really live with it in the present.

Everything is if, if, if, if there is no try, how would we know wat is the "IF"? Everything is being done, everything is being decided, no choice is given, no chance to be grabbed. Just full of regrets and sorrow since to realise everything has change until an extent that is beyond my control, beyond wat i can choose, beyond a choice that is being given to me, beyond anything in life but just pure pain and sorrow.

I tried everything all this while, I try to tell myself to not mind at all but just give everything that I am able to give and care with all the abilities that I can care and to love with all the heart to love without asking anything back in return but it seems the situation now is that am being pushed away just because someone that is more important in your life said so.

love is blind and so am I. To hold on something that may bring me to my grave, without even a slightest thoughts of hatred and anger, just dissapointment, but it seems, it seems is not really being cared by anyone too, just a twisted fate that I choose to travel down, with endless pain and sorrow.

I have nothing to say but if you think that your love for him who never ever wants you to have any relationship and any contacts with me, is worth losing me even just as someone by your side, what you would be losing is not just a friend but someone who supports you all the way without asking anything back from u and also someone who:

-someone who understands you
-someone who knows most of what you likes and dislikes in your living habits
-someone who trusted you with everything he got and never doubt you even a single moment
-someone who cares for you every moment and everywhere
-someone who never make u cry
-someone who never make u sad
-someone who never get angry at you and never blames u for anything
-someone who plans his life with you in his picture of the future
-someone who does his best to make your life a happier one with everything and anything
-someone who never fail to support u with everything he got
-someone who cannot heck care about you since he treats u like a family
-someone who always makes u the priority when he makes a choice in life
-someone who make a vow to take care of u as long as possible
-someone who cry along with u when he knows u are suffering
-someone who can accept u in his life with nothing asked from u
-someone who cherish all the memories that is shared between two person
-someone who make all the choices and action with your happiness as the main priority
-someone who realise how important are you in his life
-someone who do his best to be next to u and acc u when u are lonely and sad
-someone who let u tease and dun mind about it
-someone who is always worried when he knows you are not doing well in life
-someone who cares about ur health and remind u to sleep early, have breakfast and drink water
-someone who listen to your complains, help you to chill when u are angry and tries to cool u down
-someone who is happy and proud of knowing u and having u in his life
-someone that does his best to be totally honest and truly to u

and most importantly, whatever he does, he ask for nothing in return from u.

If you think that because of him and his selfishness in love that is worth losing someone like that is mention above. I totally respect with the decision and have nothing much to say about it. All I would say is, make a decision and dun regret it in future. be happy and be your best in life. wish you good luck in life and I guess all of us need it.

Anyway, take care and I will miss u a lot with all the memories we shared. Take care.

Today, I reached school around 6.30am and last night was a sleepless night since I know that u cried and I dunno wat is the real reason behind it, makes me worries sick with a broken heart.

What I have to share this morning is that in relationship, one always need to know and protect the weak spot from being discovered by the other person too early since we never know that the partner that are with us, are they really the good and kind people that we seems to know or not.

If your partner, whether is a he or she, knows wat is your weak spot, he or she will keep on make use of the weak spot to make you stay next to him or her. They can become someone who just do things without thinking about the consequences and without responsibility since they know that, when things goes wrong between both of the person, all he or she needs to do is to make use of your weak spot and make you feel bad about leaving him or her alone.

Someone who makes you cry throughout the relationship is never the people you are going to have future with since you cry is cause by the him or her making use of your weak spot to do certain things that he or she wants you to do or make decision that they want you to make but sometimes is really not the decisions or things that you really want to do or make. Overall, if one still hangs on with the relationship for a long time or even until marriage, do u want your marriage life to be full of tears and heart breaking moments just to so call forgive the person u are with? I really dunno.

Is true that a decision need to be made in a relationship as soon as possible to avoid hurting people that are involved in it, but when the decision making process has a factor that certain people is making use of certain people and cause influence on the thinking and moods, the decision made is never the decision that you yourself are sure and want it yourself since all your moods and thinking is being totally made use of.

Overall, all of this is what a psychologist used to tell me about defending myself in a relationship to avoid being make use and feel sad by the wrong people since last time and I guess is quite true for me. Is just something i would like to share and i hope you dun think too much about it. Anyway, please try your best to be happy and take good care of yourself.

[苦茶]

微微笑的看你.越是认真.就越让人.心疼.
街头那盏路灯.仿佛在笑我.愚笨.
没什么能做.但我比谁都真诚.
泡一杯苦茶.陪伴你到夜深
你知不知道.你总有一种.很可爱的独特
让我充满勇气.抵抗冬天的寒冷
怎样做才会完美.像个男人
喝一杯苦茶.温暖你的体温
不用等你开口先说我爱你
在那之前想对你说.我愿意
你不必问.你也不必等
这一刻.就值得爱到永恒
我该如何让你明白我爱你
在那之后你点头说我愿意
想照顾你.想守护着你
这一刻.只想把你抱紧

你知不知道你也有一种很可爱的天真
大男孩的口吻.美丽加到一百分
怎样做才会完美.像个男人 (像个男人)
喝一杯苦茶温暖你的体温
不用等你开口先说我爱你
在那之前想对你说.我愿意
你不必问.你也不必等
这一刻.就值得爱到永恒
我该如何让你明白我爱你
在那之后你点头说我愿意
想照顾你.想守护着你
这一刻.只想把你抱紧
虽然永远.太不可能少了你的完整
两个对的人.奇迹就能发生
不用等你开口先说我爱你
在那之前想对你说.我愿意
你不必问.你也不必等
这一刻.就值得爱到永恒
我该如何让你明白我爱你
在那之后你点头说我愿意
想照顾你.想守护着你
这一刻.只想把你抱紧
这一刻.只想把你抱紧

Today morning, I reached school around 7am too. On the way to school i met hao ren and his sister, who is a primary school teacher. Talked with Hao Ren and his sister about their second sister's wedding in Sabah, Malaysia.

Came to school and had breakfast too. Had breakfast set at food haven and was thinking to get u a set too and send it to your hostel since u have nothing to eat also and is lazy to buy =x l0l. jkjk but since u say we cannot contact and cannot meet, i guess is not so good to do that and i scare that later u not happy. T___T

Anyway, do have a nice day in class and may your faci to be a guy faci that is attracted to u and give u good grades. opps.......haha. jkjk. Anyway, take care. :)

A-Z in love and relationships

A = Accept 接受

"世界没有十全十美的人"这句话是千真万确的, 尤其是两个人一起并不如两块合得来的积木, 必须互相迁就着. 你爱他/她, 就必须接收他/她的一切, 包括他/她的缺点!

Song for you today. The highlighted words are words that I find interesting and are the true voice from myself. Enjoy~~

因为我相信

恩喔～ 耶～ 喔恩～
你说的每一句话 像首歌反覆传唱
储存在我的心上 怎么可能把它遗忘
后来故事变得怎样 我们的手依然不放
我所有的悲伤 习惯有你陪伴
怎舍得 再重返孤单
答应你 我不会离去
我们只是 短暂的分离
我会在附近 紧握着回忆 陪着你前进(喔～)
答应我 你不会哭泣
我们有过那么多约定
因为我相信 只要我相信 就会有奇迹(哼～)

你说的我都体谅 我的秘密锁在你眼眶
我们从不同过往 并肩走向同一个方向
梦的重量压在我肩上所幸有你分一些承担
满天的星光 把每一步照亮 所以我们不会走散　
答应你 我不会离去(我不会离去)
我们只是 短暂的分离
我会在附近 紧握着回忆 陪着你前进(陪着你前进)
答应我 你不会哭泣(不再哭泣)
我们有过那么多约定
因为我相信 只要我相信 就会有奇迹　

过去一个人 偶尔叹息 也曾想过要放弃
如今不为自己也要为了你 笑着让梦延续(喔～)　

答应你 我不会离去(我不会离去)
我们只是 短暂的分离(的分离 喔～耶～)
我会在附近 紧握着回忆 陪着你前进(喔～)
答应我 你不会哭泣(Never Every Cry)
我们有过那么多约定
因为我相信 只要我相信 就会有奇迹　
因为我相信
只要我相信
就会有奇迹

Today I finish class at around 4pm, the faci is nice but a bit luo suo. But, overall the class is consider still quite ok. By the time 7 pm, I already finished all my RJ, quizes and evaluations. Now waiting for my sister to finish the ISC meeting and accompany her back home and at the same time blogging here.

Today he no come?? How come?? Sick?? Ponteng kelas?? lol. hope you not too sad and bored without him oh~~~

Will blog more when I reached home. Hope you will read my blog everyday before u sleep bah~~~^^ hope you can have a nice dinner. Take Care

Was fine with the class. I think is because maybe it is the first class? or maybe is because i have some advance maths background, i manage to understand and finish all my work by the end of meeting 1.

Yes, I choose to put the song to cheer you and also myself up since I know that is one of the song that you like a lot and also a song that brings you happy and sweet memories. At least if you are sad, you can feel happier read the blog at the end of the day.

Anyway, a weird feeling come up when I saw his name on your msn nick again, dunno y feel like that. ^^ anyway, hope that you are having a nice time also in class and also a nice day ahead.

As usual, I reached school quite early near 7 am and I think that you are still sleeping during that time. Had laksa for breakfast and feel quite tired because last night I slept at around 1 am and i could not sleep really well. I will update and add things to my blog post as the day goes by and I will also include some nice sentence and also song lyrics for you in my everyday blog post.

I guess today is really the day that I clear the dust and spider web of my blog and I hope it is a good and new beginning for us. Anyway, be happy and do your best for your class k? Wish u all the best for class and a happy and nice day ahead. ^^