DREAMS HOPES AND DESTINY

All About Me

I am Lee Cheng Wei. I am 20 in the year 2008 and my birthday is on the 5th October
I am currently studying in Republic Poly in Diploma in Materials Science

CHENG WEI LIKES
likes to hang out with his friends and likes to help people out
likes to relax and chill out and have deep thoughts in his mind

CHENG WEI DISLIKES
dislike people who are fake and do things different from what they are thinking
dislike unfairness and people who are selfish where they self high and no care about how others feel

HOPES AND DREAMS
Cheng Wei hopes to be happy and successful in life so he will work hard now to achieve his hope and dreams and fulfill his destiny

HOBBIES
playing with Magic stuff (cards, coins, mind reading, etc.....)
practising taekwondo
listening to nice songs
chatting and blogging on the internet

What I Want?

Magic Stuff (books, props, dvds (lots and lots of them) )
Good grades for good future
Good friends that I can trust
Good money in my pocket

But apart from all of that, what I want the most is just to have a happy and peaceful life with the people I like and love (is a childish thought since it is almost impossible but am willing to give my best shot) :)

5:54 PM

Monday, July 7, 2008

Something that she mentioned to me on saturday has stuck in my mind and torture me since that day. She said that she will not mind to have sex with the guy she likes even before marriage. She also told me that how open minded her bf and classmates are. I am really very very very worried, worried that she might do something with her bf which they are not even together for more than 3 months and i worried that might cause her to regret and cause me to regret for my whole life for not being able to make her part of my happiness.

Am really scared, am really worried, that if she done something that cause me to regret my whole life, I really dunno what will I do to myself. I understand that she is no one to me, just a friend and I have no rights to control her life, but is just that, is just that, if i say i wun mind and i dun care at all, I am totally cheating myself and I think I deserve all this because of my stupidity and foolishness of not making her part of my happiness.

My first Hug is given to her. Yes!!! her, not my mum, not my dad, not my sis not my other friends but her. This may sound unbelievable but I swear I am telling the truth. I can even describe the details what happen that day and to me, is a moment that I will cherish for my whole life.

I may sound too extreme. Is true that I will never dun care her just because she is no longer a virgin but my heart will really get hurt and break into pieces because she can be that close to that extent with someone that she knows him for a much shorter time compare to me.

For today, all this thoughts have never left my mind. I ended up crying in the toilet from 12pm to 1pm again just because I got so worried over this problem. All I can say is, I really wish that she will not do something that will cause both she and me to regret in our life.

All I can say is, I NEED TO TRUST HER, I NEED TO TRUST HER WITH MY LIFE, I NEED TO TRUST HER THAT SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!so i guess, i have nothing but only to trust her since i really want to trust everything that she said to me about her as a person who wants to find true love and not just an anyhow gal.

My Everyday Requires You~~~~I wonder when will she see and read this, but I hope she can understand my thinking and feeling. Cherish yourself and wish you happy always.