Last night, was as usual, a teary sleepless night...
I fell in love with the song titled "parrot" by howl. It is how amazing that the song writer is able to have the song written with such meaning the really reads someone's mind. Below is the english translation of the song....

Howl - Parrot
I started thinking of you again like it was yesterday,
The missing feeling in my heart doesn’t seem to be reduced,
You just keep appearing in my mind,
The more I comfort myself, the more tears will fall,
Even if I rub away those tears secretly,
Those memories will turn over another memory,
Making me cry with a painful heart,
What I obtained are only extreme regrets,
The me who has never sacrifice is now having fears the you might forget…
Love you…I…I love you…
This is what I learned from you, out of all words and phrases in the world
This has become my favorite phrase,
Muttering to myself…like a fool alone…
I’m sorry… I’m sorry…
I’m sorry for these words that are too late
I wait for you without any pride
Will you return tomorrow by chance

I liked it, I was happy,
I didn’t know how to confess, I believed in forever,
If on that day, even if only in my dreams,
If I could return to that day, I’d collect all my emotions,
I would empty out my heart and give it all to you,
I love you, I love you,
This is what I learned from you out of all the words and phrases in the world,
This has become my favorite phrase
Muttering to myself… like a fool alone…
I’m sorry… I am sorry…
I’m sorry for these words that are too late
I wait for you without any pride
Will you return tomorrow by chance

This heart… Even if it’s ended, we won’t know
Even if you can’t come
Even if you’ve changed
Even if it’s not me
I call out… call out again
Like a parrot, I call out your name
And your love, like this

with everything like this, I am still not able to understand what am I feeling and what do I really want, am still lost.......and I still miss her for not been able to see her properly for 21 days. I miss her~~~